Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Beginners Guide to Blogging.

When I started blogging about six months ago I had no idea what was involved and indeed how big the blogosphere actually was. In fact I only started because someone told me I should. Yes, I am that impressionable.

Anyway, I thought it would be good to share some of the lessons I learnt with you before I forget them all. So here you go - Kate Takes 5's Beginners Guide to Blogging.

What you will need:
A computer, Internet Access, Patience, Time (plenty of).


  • If you have a husband \ wife \ partner give them a big kiss and tell them you'll see them in about 6 months time.
  • Warn the kids that from now on they will be fending for themselves. Only intervene when blood, concussion or the neighbors are involved.
  • Stockpile tins of baked beans, quick cook pasta and frozen pizzas. Those days of family dinners with slow cooked beef casserole are long gone. 
  • Hire a cleaner, or get used to all the rooms of your house looking like this:
  • Tell your friends that you might see them one night in August for a catch up. As long as they are fully signed up members of your blog of course.
  • Get used to disapproving looks from other mothers when your child falls in the street and you scramble for the camera instead of picking her up.
  • Go to the back of the class. You will need to read up on widgets, html, Twitter Parties (bring your own booze), hash tags (no - not that type), links, followers, etiquette, design, and stats, among other things. Or you could just keep that dunces hat firmly on your head.
  • Get ready to become obsessed with your grades. Didn't care in school - you will now. Klout, Wikio, Technorati, Tots100, Postrank, Google Search - the list is endless and the rules are boggling. 
  • Domestics. Too many to mention due to points 1,2,3 and 4.
  • Realise that you now only leave the house when you have run out of 'material' and need to conjure up a post.
  • One day you will decide to link your blog to Facebook, along with all it's Pages, Badges, Widgets, Likes etc. When that day comes hire a babysitter and buy in plenty of alcohol. It's gonna get messy.*
  • And finally - get ready to meet some other weird and wonderful bloggers and maybe even make some friends. You can start with some of mine if you like:
(If you're not included in this list and feel you should have been it's only because I wanted to prove my final point, ie: Get a thick skin.) Honest.

*I believe I may have finally got the Facebook thing sorted out. Why not help me test it by clicking the link in my side bar :)

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