Monday, November 29, 2010

The N Word (yes, really...)

So are you one of the thousands of parents who are being tormented by Kirsty and Rachel? For those of you lucky enough not to know, Kirsty and Rachel are the heroines from The Rainbow Magic fairy story books for girls. I first saw these books in a display outside a favourite bookshop - 'how cute' I thought, 'Lily could start collecting them'.
Hang on a sec, do you hear that? That's the sound of my deranged laughter. How could I have been so stupid?
One year later we have been through quite a few of Kirsty and Rachels adventures. They go something like this - in every single book: Kirsty and Rachel are playing happily, Kirsty notices something odd, Rachel wonders if it might be a fairy. Kirsty and Rachel find a fairy. The fairy is in trouble. Jack Frost (he's the baddie) has taken something from the Fairy Kingdom. Kirsty and Rachel help the fairies get it back. Hoorah for the girls they have saved the day. The End.
Now as a story it's ok - but after about 50 books it gets just a little tiresome. Anyway at this stage my husband and I have had it with the God-damn fairies. So last night we persuaded Lily to choose something else as her bedtime story. I very carefully tried to sway her towards some old Enid Blyton books my mother had just passed onto me. Books that I had loved as a child and wanted her to love to. They're fairly old but that's part of the charm. Pretty aren't they?

So she chose the book and she chose the story. As I was happily reading away, getting all nostalgic for my childhood I suddenly stopped. Lily looked at me and I looked as the page. Then I looked at the page again. And again. I actually could not believe what I was reading. You wouldn't either so I've taken a photo. See? See what it says? (Last para):

Shocking isn't it? To think that only one generation ago it was considered ok for little kids to call their cuddly toy 'Nigger' and for the country's bestselling children's author to be an open racist. I'm not sure what to say to that, only that my 'lovely' books have been consigned to the back of the wardrobe and bloody Kirsty and Rachel live to fight another day.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Gallery

This is my first ever Gallery.
I keep meaning to do it then always remember too late, but this one is so simple even I managed to get it together. (Well yes I am a day late actually but who's counting...?)
For friends who don't know, The Gallery is a weekly event run by Sticky Fingers where a prompt is given and you submit a relevent photo. This week is 'Black & White'. Now I know this isn't an amazing picture, but it's one that I love. It was taken five years ago at Christmas. I had just discovered I was pregnant with no. 2 and had to tell everyone early because, well lets face it - why else would I not be drinking at Christmas? So here I am - with a rather smug look on my face looking one way, and my baby girl sitting on my lap looking the other way. Neither of us with a clue as to what was in store.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

eBay Mummy Challenge

Now I realise that none of you are going to be quite as excited as I am by this - but I have just been given £250 by for my Christmas Shopping! Hooray!
Did they know I had given up work, moved house, and in the process become rather poor this year? Did they know that our kids were all set to be getting  a tangerine, a walnut and half a curly wurly in their Santa sacks on Christmas Eve? Did they know that I LOVE eBay but have been too frightened to register my new credit card details with them since my last one spontaneously exploded from too much use? (And no - unfortunately the money owed on it didn't go up in smoke too).
I do not have the answers to those questions, but I do know this - from tomorrow I will be participating in 3 weeks worth of guilt free Christmas shopping for my fabulous family and friends who have helped us out so much over the past year.
But wait - there's more! eBay have set up a Facebook App called eBay Mummy Blogger where you can come and vote for your favourite contestant (that would be me), and help us all spend some of that dosh. And if you're really good you might even be rewarded for your efforts...
So please click on the Mummy Blogger eBay picture to the right of this post and join in the fun!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Cracking Cheese Brian

I've just realised that I haven't actually done this story justice. Since Babies who brunch left a comment on my post Pardon my French alluding to the free cheese phenomenon hitting Irish shores I've been inundated with questions about it. For those of you who aren't in the know the story is basically this:

Irish Government breaks Ireland. Irish Government then announces 50 tonnes of free cheese will be distributed throughout the country to those in need in time for Christmas. Country gasps in disbelief. Media picks up storyline. The Irish become the butt of all jokes once again. The End.

Understandably some people still don't actually believe it's true. For you I have only one question 'Do you not understand just how stupid our Government is???'

Anyway, I suppose it's given us Irish folk some good material to work with. At least we can all come together in a collective groan of disbelief. And I must admit - there is a little glint of delight. 'Eh, sarry? Did he juz say he's gonna give us FREE CHEESE? Really? No, but, really? Jaysus I can't wait to tell the lads. Goddamn feckin eejits'.

Or something along those lines.

Bad as it all sounds, to make matters even worse (and just to show you how incredibly out of touch our Government is), they actually announced this proposal a) with pride and b) the day after unveiling a figure of €6 billion in cuts to an already struggling population. Sigh.

However, there is some good news to report. Whilst trawling through all the embarrassing online articles on the subject I found this:

I urge you to take a look at the Party's founder Bock the Robber and his hilarious post. The comments that follow are worth a look also. It almost makes me proud to be Irish again.

Viva Irlanda! The revolution begins at last!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Friday Favourite

So Friday has rolled around again which means it's time for my Favourite New Blog again. This week I keep on happening upon blogs which I thought I had been following but wasn't. You know when there are names you are so familiar with and sites you dip into all the time that you just presume you have been following them all along? Well this weeks FF is one of those and it's Kerry on Living.

What do I like about this site? I like the design. I like her writing. I like the attractive simplicity. I like her hilarious and familiar description of her son on the tab 'Kerry boy'. And I love her inspired 6 word reviews in 'Kerry on...reading'.

Kerry's blog is well worth a good look so pop over and don't forget to follow (she deserves a bit of a bump up in numbers!).

Monday, November 8, 2010

Pardon my french

Now I'm not one to needlessly employ the use of profanities in my everyday life (ahem), but there are times when only the F word will do. And this is one of them. Because Ladies and Gentlemen, Ireland is well and truly fucked.
Wherever you turn, whatever you read - someone is always talking about 'the recession', 'the credit crunch', 'the global downturn', what they really mean is that we are well and truly fucked.
Of course I'm well aware that the rest of the world is suffering too, but at least other countries have the hope of recovery on the horizons. Pretty much whatever country you live in, as long as it's not Ireland, you can take heart from the fact that there's someone worse off than you. And it's us. The Irish. We are up shits creak without even a boat - let alone the proverbial paddle.
Opinions differ on how we ended up this way, but the general consensus is that the politicians were at best total fools and at worst totally corrupt, and the bankers and developers were at best just greedy and at worst totally corrupt. Unfortunately the more I read that more I think that the latter is most probably true.
So whilst those who are to blame slink off to foreign climes to reinvent themselves with their fat pay offs, the rest of us are left to bare the brunt of their errors - put up and shut up.  And there's nothing like complete injustice to get a nation upset.
France, Greece and Iceland have had similar issues and the people have risen up fighting (literally in the case of Greece). So whilst they organise student protests and national rallies against their governments what have the Irish done? Well firstly someone anonymously hung a picture of a naked Brian Cowan in a major Dublin art gallery.....and he ain't too pretty fully clothed:

.....and secondly we started a campaign to show the politicians just how pissed off we are with what they have done to our poor country.  Brace yourselves. The people of Ireland have been urged to take photos of themselves looking really cross, not just cross mind, really cross. and then send them into the Minister for Finance so he can see for himself what the nation thinks of him and his cronies.

I'm honestly not sure whether I'm proud or ashamed of that.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Friday Favourite

Man those Friday's come around quickly! Time for my 'Favourite New Blog' post. Now this might be slightly controversial but you're going to have to just trust me ok?

I found this blog almost as soon as I started blogging myself a couple of months ago and have felt an affinity with it ever since. She always has something interesting to say, writes brilliantly, can be funny \ intelligant \ moving in equal measures and is incredibly supportive of other peoples blogs.

Who is it I hear you ask? Well, I'm delighted to give this weeks recommendation to............... What Did She Say?.

Now I know what you're thinking - that this just a tit-for-tat for the wonderful things she said about me here - (yes, yet another plug) but not so!!

Read it for yourself and you'll see why - and don't forget to tell her that I think she's fab.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Here I go again

As some of you know I attempted a make-over the other week - the blog, not me. Though come to think of it...
Anyway, despite your lovely comments I just wasn't happy with it; I felt it wasn't really in tune with what I was actually writing about (being all pretty and girly and everything - the blog again not me!).
So...TA-DAH! I've changed it again.
I will be sticking with this one for awhile so no need to tell me if you don't like it!

Monday, November 1, 2010

I've spawned a monster.

Not so long ago, possibly at the exact moment he blew out his second birthday candle my adorable 'baby' boy turned into a monster. Suddenly his sweet smiles disappeared and he started pushing his older brother and sister over, shouting in their faces with a 'yeah what are you gonna do about it?' attitude, blowing raspberries at anyone who dared not bow to his desires, and having tantrums that could light the street with if only you could harness the power of his explosions. Yep, the terrible two's have arrived.

At first I thought he was just having a bad day, then I thought maybe he was coming down with something, finally I realised that he was just being a pain in the ass. (Sorry Baxter but you brought it on yourself).

Unfortunately other people have now started to notice. Last week when my sister was due to babysit she called in to quiz me on the arrangements. 'And what about the devils spawn?' she asked with narrowed eyes, 'he will be sleeping won't he?' (Hey I know, but it was free babysitting - what could I say?).

Anyway, the reason I'm writing about this now is because we went to the shops this morning. Both monster boy and his older brother were in the trolley and I was doing the usual sprint around the aisles before the fighting, tears, tantrums started. I think we were by the carrotts when I saw it. In the corner of my eye I noticed his little two year old arm swing back and then with full force shoot forward. Then I watched in slow motion as a bulb of garlic flew through the air and - I kid you not - hit a well dressed woman on the head.

What did I do? I did what any self respecting, mortally embarrassed mother would do - I ducked. (Gosh how interesting all those different types of chillies are - I really must get  a closer look, even if they are on the bottom shelf, right by the floor...).
When it was safe to come out I tentitively emerged and made it around the rest of the shop until - horror! - there she was - heading to the tills at the same time as me. All I could do was try to get to the checkout that was furthest away from the one she was going to - which I can report worked very well.
Until, that is, the four year old cried out delightedly 'LOOK MUM, THERE'S THE LADY THAT BAXTER BOPPED ON THE HEAD'.
Cue red face and desperate shushing.
Oh God.
So whilst I slowly died of public embarrassment what did monster boy do? Smiled serenely in the trolley like this was the best day of his life.
Little devil - it probably was.
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