Monday, October 29, 2012

Bad language

'Ha ha! I've got a big, big dick' I heard my four year old call from downstairs.

I waited a moment to see what was coming next.

'I've got a big dick and I'm going to hit you with it!'

'Muuum! He's trying to attack me.' his brother shouted 'and he has a weapon!'

I plod down the stairs and hold out my hand. 'Hand over the stick boy'.


'What's for dinner?' one of them asks peering round my legs.

'Spicy chicken legs and broccoli' I reply waiting for the moans.

'Oh broomsticks!' he says looking at the chicken 'I love them!'


Baking. The buns are almost finished.

'I want the bowl!' shouts one.

'I want the spoon' shouts another.

'The whiskers are mine then' says the last.


Later I'm sitting on the floor with the little terror who is trying to escape my kisses.

'Come on - give your Mum a big smacker'

Seconds later his fist hits my face.


I know it's bad mothering, but I do love their own little language.

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