Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Pardon me Ma'am, but I'm having a baby

Today Queen Elizabeth II pays her first ever visit to the Irish Republic. In fact it's over 100 years since an English head of state visited the little people. Back then they probably just weren't bothered. But then of course it all got a little tricky.

So The Queen has decided that enough is enough and seeing as she's been around the world a number of times visiting countries like New Zealand, Australia, Canada, Bermuda, India, Malta, Kenya, it's probably about time she popped over the Irish Sea to say hello to that funny little Irish lot.

Being from a half English family myself and being married to an Englishman I'm very welcoming of anything that brings the two countries together (a bit like our wedding day), and most other Irish people feel the same way. Unfortunately however there's still a few pathetic idiots who can't quite drag themselves out of 1916 and feel the need to don balaclavas and read up on the latest internet bomb making instructions.

This of course means that there will be no meet and greets with Her Majesty, there will be no flag waving and no little girls getting to see a real life Queen person. No, there will be bare streets and Garda Siochana instead.

And with these guys in charge what could possibly go wrong?

The other downside of the 'security risk' this visit poses is that the roads to one of Dublin's two main maternity hospitals have been closed off. Pregnant women with appointments this week have been asked to waddle the long way round instead.

But what if you're actually due today? Or worse still your contractions have started? Well you've been advised not to give birth today ok?

So that's that little problem cleared up then.


  1. Wow you Irish are a hearty lot if you can keep your cervixes (plural? Cervixae?) shut!!!

  2. now that is very unsophisticated! Those poor ladies!

  3. Hahaha...really? That's seriously crazy....who does The Queen think she is? One must hold ones baby in now then tsk!

  4. But women love giving birth in cars on the side of the road, so should be no problem.

  5. The Gardai have presumably been trained in birthing procedures, specially for this event.

  6. Hilarious!

    and I thought you were pregnant for a moment!

  7. Oh Kate, I love the new look to your blog!
    For the record, if I was expecting at the same time the Queen was coming? I would have the decency to wait to give birth. It is just good manners, for god's sake. ;-)

  8. This is hilarious for us across the pond, but for pregnant women in Ireland not so much. Hopefully, they knew this a little before hand to make some sort of arrangements.
    You know, I have thought about this. For example, if only we could feed ourselves for ahead of time and say, "this will make me full and I won't have to eat until Thursday now" or " I will have this baby next week, so I can take a little break and prepare for it." If only....

  9. My favourite piece of advice from the Rotunda was that you leave earlier than you normally would when in labour to allow for how long it would take to get through the Garda checkpoints. They actually said that on the news & no one sniggered. There's an average of 50 babies born in that hospital every day.


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