Wednesday, January 5, 2011

How Johnny Depp Ruined My Night.

On Sunday evening we did something as a family that I used to dream about one day doing. No, not appearing on Family Fortunes (who does that?). It was sitting on the sofa and watching a whole movie together.
Not so long ago when the three kids were just a little younger than they are now I would have been happy if we all managed five minutes without having to get up to change a nappy, get a bottle, reach a toy, stop a fight...So as we all cuddled up quietly together I have to say I was pretty pleased with myself.

After nearly 4 weeks off school \ playschool the kids were bored with tv and their own dvds so my OH had suggested the fab 'Edward Scissorhands'. Johnny Depp for Mum, and PG rating for the kids - what could possibly go wrong?

Johnny Depp

Well, nothing - initially. Even the two year old seemed transfixed with Edward - holding up his two little hands every time he saw the scissors - as if wondering why he had boring fingers when he could have had cool blades.
Unbelievably we managed to watch the whole movie without incident. Even better - it finished just on bedtime - happy days!

However when I turned around to tell the 6 year old, that it was time for bed she looked at me and then started wailing crying - 'But I'm scared Mummy! I don't want to go to bed'. Hmmm. At this point three things ran through my mind. 1. Am I a bad mother for not realising this would happen?, 2. Wow she is really freaking out - I should get a photo of this for the blog, 3. I am definitely a bad mother for thinking that.

As I tried to calm her down the 4 year old, realised that she was getting all the attention so started copying her - only at a louder level.  A couple of minutes later they were all at it.

'Look - there's nothing to be scared of.' I said. 'Edward was a nice guy. In fact he was the same guy as Captain Jack Sparrow!! And you like him don't you?' Ha - that would do it.

I could see the crying easing off and the cogs turning - an amalgamation of Edward Scissorhands and Captain Jack formed in their minds. The wailing grew louder.

Their Dad tried to help by doing an impersonation of him that looked a bit like a crazed robot that was coming to chop off their heads. The girl started screaming.

After about an hour the house was at last quiet as they all finally fell asleep - with the lights on. That Goddamn Johnny Depp has a lot to answer for.
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